The Circle of Concern vs The Circle of Influence

Positive Minds | Positive Stories | Edition 017

How my friend used positive energy to enlarge his circle of influence and change his world?

“If there's one belief system worth adopting, it's that your thoughts are at the cause of the world you witness every day”. Yep, change your thoughts and change your world! Namaste!

Tough sell especially these days when COVID-19 pandemic has ripped into our lives, infecting millions of people, killing dozen of thousands others and pushing countless countries into recession, and leaving us all in limbo.

In this context, how can one accept that their thoughts are the sources of the desolation and desperation we see around us now? Shouldn’t we think that Namaste is unrealistic or at the very least irrelevant now? What did we do to deserve that this virus pesters and locks us down to our rooms, keeps our families separate; threatens our livelihoods and health, one may ask?

Once upon a time, I had a friend dear to me. That is when we were in Junior Secondary School. My friend was born in a desolate rural community in Africa to a mom that was clinically depressed and to a dad he never knew as he passed soon after his birth. My friend was raised by his overstretched aunt, a single mom who had 7 little children of her own to raise.

As my friend was recounting his life one day talking about his sick mom, the dad he wished he knew; his siblings some of whom had become street children smoking pots, and his hopeless future; the fact that he feared he would become "nobody" in life; his teary eyes suddenly turned into a smiling face. My friend started beaming with hope and joy about what he can do about the situation. I never knew where he got the energy from. What I later observed is that he soon joined his aunt on market days to buy foodstuffs from farmers, store them for a while and sell them later to make a living.

As a young teenager, he was able to pay for his education fees to become “somebody” in life. My friend would go to work on farms and buy and sell during market days when he is not at school to eke a living. Even as a student, he was able to measure up with his peers out school teenagers in the village in how much farm work and land tillage they could do. He appeared to carry the burden of his challenges with ease and poise, always trying to explore how he could solve the next problem. This is not a person who spent time complaining about what might have happened or been or should be. This is a person who spent a great deal of time thinking about what he can do instead. I have remained in awe to my friend as I learned that where he came from, his particular conditions did not matter. What he decided he would make of it carried the day.

For my friends, his circle of concern was his mom, dad and siblings’ conditions and how they affected him, especially as he compared himself to his friends and the world around him. But he quickly shifted gears to focus on what he could control, what he could act on and what he could change, that is what is known as the “circle of influence”. He changed his thoughts, and eventually, he changed his world.

If you focus your time and energy on your circle of influence ─things you have control over, instead of wasting your time and energy on things you don’t─ you will see the world with hope and increase happiness. You will see a brighter tomorrow, and this will motivate you to keep going.

COVID-19 pandemic may carry loads of unknowns, fear and anxiety, but we can still choose to stay calm, safe, active, and positive with the deep belief that this also shall come to pass. We can change our thoughts, and that will help change how we see the COVID-19, our world of today.